8 months post stroke dad and poor mum

My dad suffered a stroke in a car accident last oct and is paralysed on the right side of his body. His speech and swallowing abilities were affected and had to be fed through a feeding tube.

My poor mum looks after my dad and often breaks down as she is too exhausted. We got her a maid but my mum did not ask the maid to help her. Instead, she looked after the maid, let her sleep early, after 7+ pm and the maid often watches tv by pretending to massage my dad.
My mum had to cook and wash clothes. What an irony. In the end, we sent her back after one month.

It is definitely not easy to look after a stroke patient and my dad is very grumpy and impatient after the stroke. He wants to be wheeled around as and when he likes it, goes back to bed again when he likes it too.

My mum will carry him up and down the bed, to and fro the wheelchair. My elder bro who lives with them, rarely helps.

I don't live with my mum and my job makes it so difficult for me to visit them on weekdays as I work virtually from dawn till dusk. I only visit them on weekends but i often have to bring my work back to complete on weekends.

I hope my mum will stop being so obstinate, let us get her a helper. Hope she allows me to let dad eat ageloc r2 so that perhaps he can recover faster. There are cases where people recover from stroke after eating ageloc r2.

I hope my dad will recover soon so that my mum will not be so tired and so her varicose veins will not get worse. My friend who works in a hospital told me that we should not rub the varicose veins as they might burst.

Tribute to my dad. Wake up Daddy!

More than 3 weeks ago, I posted a link on facebook to write a tribute for their dads. 

I wrote a tribute then but I did not submit it.

He is still in a coma after a stroke and car accident about 4 days ago on Sunday morning. Until now, we do not know what happened that fateful dawn. We only knew that a blood vessel burst and a blood clot formed in the left brain, causing a stroke which left him unable to move his right part of the body, hand and leg. Did the stroke occur first? Or did he get a shock just before the head on car collision occurred?


As left brain controls speech, my dad cannot speak or swallow. He also cannot cough out his phlegm. Right now, he is fighting infection and high fever. Doctors said he has a high chance of a second stroke which might cause death or complicate matters.

When I saw the adverts by KFC focusing on 'Dad and Family' as the theme, I was reminded of the past when he brought all 5 kids and my mum to the restaurant which had white plates and metal cutlery. He often brought us to the KFC restaurant on Sun at 7pm when we were children some 20 yrs ago... And we have not been having dinner together ever since we grew up... That's the saddest part, we didn't treasure the times we had together and when things happened, then we get together. Just one year ago, I lay on the hospital bed due to pneumonia, he visited me. but now he is the one lying there. I wished I could have suffered for him. I wished I had spent more time with him. I wish he wake up and recover soon.
I wish it was just a nightmare.

This was what I wrote for my dad more than 3 weeks ago...

You spoke to us in dialect,

Peppered with vulgarities,

The words  which we lack the lect,

As schools  taught us English and Chinese…

You made us tremble in fear…

Never to be in the red,

To get full marks every year,

Otherwise our butts would not be spared…

You, the sole breadwinner knight…

Woke up earlier than us,

Worked from day till night,

Strengthened with calluses…

You brought us on lorry rides…

Our hair flipping wildly in the wind,

We could not afford luxury cars,

But love made all seven of us blind…

Through good and bad times…

You are the world’s greatest dad,

I repeat, throughout all times,

You are still the world’s greatest dad…

Daddy, Please wake up!